The Power of Saying "No"
Over the course of our lives, we find ourselves at the same crossroads over and over again: the question of saying “yes” or saying “no”.
This question presents itself in situations like:
A new relationship has grown stronger. Should I commit to this person and take things to the next level?
An existing relationship is no longer serving me in the way it once was. Should I change the boundaries I’ve set with this person?
I’m thinking of moving to a new city, state, or even country. Is it a good idea?
I’ve been presented with a new career opportunity. Do I accept it?
Now, before you get too excited – there’s no easy cheat sheet that tells you which among these to accept, nor which to decline. Instead, we can rely on our intuition and the facts in front of us to prioritize what is most aligned with our Soul’s direction.
There are some points of our life where saying “yes” to as much as we can is helpful – for instance, when we are younger and looking to expand our horizons and understanding of what brings us fulfillment. But once we’ve gathered that information and spent time sitting with it, we reach a stage where we want to be choosier about the opportunities presented to us. Not every new path is one aligned with our needs and direction, and many of us with people-pleasing tendencies find ourselves saying yes by instinct. The reality is, we don’t need to.
Additionally, there may be opportunities that initially excite us and feel like a good fit, but we later realize that this is not the case. I recently experienced this in my own life with regard to a teaching job that, at first, seemed like a definite “yes”. In fact, I’d even accepted the job and begun training – but it was at this point that I began to sense resentment within myself whenever I thought about this work. That was a major red flag that called for deeper intuiting around the subject. After sitting with that for some time, I realized that I needed to respectfully bow out.
This wasn’t an easy decision to make! I had already begun the training for the job, and it’s never ideal to go back on a commitment that you’ve already made. But, I knew that I would not be able to show up as my best in this role – and that holding out for other, more aligned opportunities would ultimately be more beneficial for everyone involved.
And wouldn’t you know it – my calendar quickly filled up with new clients and collaborations that fit right into the framework of what I’m needing right now! By giving myself the permission to say “no” to that original opportunity, I’d taken back control and opened up space for better things to rush in. It was a reminder that saying “no” isn’t always the end of the line. In fact, it can be quite the opposite.
Of course, we must be wary of reaching the other extreme – saying “no” to everything as a means of avoidance, even when part of us wants to say “yes”. This is especially easy to do when we are operating from a place of fear. For instance, we might shut down a chance to take on a new, aligned project when we convince ourselves (often through negative self-talk) that we aren’t “good enough” to do it well. And of course, there will sometimes be obligations we must tend to even if they don’t feel like a perfect fit.
This is all to say – “yes” and “no” questions often have a lot more gray area than we think, and ultimately, there is no shame in being discerning. Listening to our Soul’s guidance and trusting our own intuition helps us navigate these crossroads more easily. When we operate with this kind of intuitive clarity, it makes it much easier for us to know the right opportunities when we see them.
If you need clarity in answering questions like these, I’m here to help! Connect with me today to learn about my offerings for 1:1 intuitive guidance and support.
